Sanctuary

Most everyone who knows me understands my appreciation for the water. The combination of taking the pressure off your joints and cooling down burning nerves enables me to continue to heal despite my chronic pain.  So, when the Lord started leading Todd and I to move to a home with a pool, I became all too excited that a healing sanctuary would exist right outside my door. And, I was not wrong in this excitement. I feel like I now own a little piece of heaven in my own backyard. I feel truly blessed that the Lord fulfilled a need that I didn't even know I had.

I am continuing to heal each day. I still continue to face many setbacks, but I am slowly beginning to see incremental improvements in my health.  Most importantly, I am continuing to press into the Lord through this trial. He has continued to heal.

I am including pictures of the pool area below. I hope you enjoy!

Jessica

Hope

This week I have been learning the difference between faith and hope. I always thought that faith and hope were synonymous with one another. However, I have come to find out that faith is more definite. It believes something is going to happen specifically.  On the other hand, hope is overall expectation. Biblical hope is an attitude. Biblical hope is a promise that good is going to come our way because God said it would.

I had no idea that hope was so important and foundational to our overall belief system. I have always prided myself on being a "faithful" person. I even titled my blog "Healing  Faith" because I believe that the Lord is healing my mind, body, and spirit. Yet, I didn't know hope was also pivotal to my health and relationship with the Lord.

With all this said,  we cannot just sit back and hope that things get better.  We must make practical steps today to make way for God's provision tomorrow. For me, the preparations include exercise, eating healthy, juicing, as well as prayer and meditation. Everyone's steps to action are different, but they are all equally important to laying the foundation for God's plan. In the end, only God can bring His provision upon us. But, hope spurns us on to make systematic steps in anticipation for God's groundwork.

Today, I have hope, and I will continue to make practical preparations for God's plan. What are you hoping for today? Hope is an action. So, allow the steps that you take today to fill your heart with hope as you prepare yourself for God's provision.

Wrestling

Lately, I have been obsessed with all things Old Testament. Weird, right? It's like all of a sudden I can't get enough of the Israelites, or I just can't hear enough about the lineage that Jesus chose to descend from on earth. The most current story i have stopped to meditate on is Jacob and Esau. The story is not new to me. I can remember sitting in Sunday School when I was a child and thinking how weird it must have been for Jacob to put on fake fur to trick his father into giving him the birthright that was meant for Esau.

The lesson I really stopped to ponder on comes from a little later in the story though. Jacob goes on to "physically" wrestle with God. What? Is Jacob crazy? I do not think I would have the audacity to wrestle with God. Yet, I do it all the time. I am a  million times guilty of going to the Lord in an almost battle-like stance to fight for the blessings I think would most help me. I don't think I am alone in this action either. We know from the story that Jacob was persistent. God encourages persistence in all areas of our lives, including the spiritual.

Healing from chronic pain has taught me that strong character develops as you struggle through tough conditions. The Lord answered Jacob. After the battle, the Lord blessed Jacob  by renaming him Israel meaning "he struggles with God".  Most importantly, Jacob went on to father the 12 tribes of Israel. If you are wrestling with the Lord today about something, please know that you are not alone.  God sees your persistence.  

Waiting

Lately, I have been taking time out of my day to meditate. I feel that the more mental fortitude I can build, the stronger I will be to fight chronic pain. My absolute favorite place to meditate is outside in my backyard. I am surrounded by nature and feel the environment is conducive to relaxation. One of the first things that I had to learn was that our backyard is in the Embry-Riddle flightpath. Small planes pass by as flight instructors teach the next generation of pilots. So, it is safe to say, I have observed the path that they take each day. The planes just really complete a small loop around the Daytona Beach airport. I have observed that they sometimes send the same plane around a few times. I can only guess that the instructor believes the young pilot needs more practice or that there are some kind of unfavorable landing conditions on the ground that require the pilot to circle just one more time.

As I thought about this process, I began to visualize my own life like those circling airplanes. I am in a holding pattern. And, I don't think I'm the only one. How many of us are stuck in some kind of waiting room in life? My waiting room seems to be physical healing, but yours might be waiting to repair that broken relationship or waiting for your kids to grow out of that terrible two's phase so you can recover your life back. Whatever your waiting room is, I think it is important to acknowledge that there might be a purpose within circling around just one more time. Maybe the Lord needs to teach us just one more thing before we land, or maybe He is waiting for someone to come into your life that you can help.

For today, I am content to circle listening to what the Lord may be  trying to teach me before I land. I hope that someone else circling would feel comforted by these words today.

Timing

I have been doing a great deal better physically over the last month. My pain levels are significantly lower, and I can tell that physical improvements are beginning to take place. I can stand for longer periods of time, walk for farther distances, and find that recovery time for sore muscles is less and less. Yet, with all these improvements, I still find myself struggling to understand why I can't get better overnight. If my body is healing and all these improvements are taking place, why do I have set backs, flare ups, and hardships along the way?

The only explanation I have been able to give myself is that the disruptions along my healing journey only highlight my total and complete dependence on the Lord. And, being a dependent person is not an easy task for this strong willed girl. So, the Lord has to work twice as hard with me. I realize that I must rejuvenate myself in the trusting process. Today might not be as good as yesterday but tomorrow might be the best day I have has since getting RSD.

My hope is that we will all look at our weaknesses as opportunities to trust and depend on friends, family, and our faith.

Mary Versus Martha

A couple days ago the Lord gave me a verse out of Luke. The story is a well known one about Martha and Mary. The passage is about two sisters and how they both react to Jesus visiting their home. Martha is distracted by all the preparations in getting her home just right for Jesus while Mary sits at the feet of Jesus and listens to Him. Upon seeing Mary just sitting, Martha gets frustrated and complains to Jesus that Mary has left her to do all the work. Jesus simply replies by saying, "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her."

As I sat quietly and meditated on this scripture, the Lord made it very clear to me that I get to be Mary. No longer able to consume myself with the busy shuffle of everyday life, I get to sit quietly at the feet of Jesus and listen to His teachings. What a truly amazing gift He has given me!

Many people revert into being Martha, especially over the holiday season. I hope that each of you will find time to be Mary and sit quietly while you nourish your spirit.

What is your tell?

A common complaint among people with RSD is that others cannot understand their hardship because they don't look sick. Sometimes an individual will have a swollen hand of foot but most commonly they look relatively normal. I know this sounds like a good thing, but sometimes it is tough to feel understood when someone can not tell you are in severe pain. However, as I began to ponder this issue that exists among the pain community, I realized I do have a 'tell' that allows my friends and family to know it is a tough moment.

When I am feeling good, my voice sounds about ten octaves higher than normal. In addition, I will talk your ear off! This part I am not kidding about. At times, it feels like someone has been holding back a slingshot and then let it go. When the pain is high, I will usually just sit and listen. I begin to chew my lip, and I will figit with anything in my hand. The tone of my voice lowers and I become much more introverted.

I am sharing my 'tell' signals because  I want others to think about what non-verbal gestures suggest that they are hurting. Whether it is physical or emotional pain, we all have signs that give away we are experiencing a tough moment. Maybe by embracing and sharing these signs we will be able to communicate and be understood by others better. Maybe my 'tell' will not allow me to be the best gambler in Vegas, but they do allow others to understand and support me.